CHANGE IS HARD!
We are inherently motivated to better ourselves and move towards our full potential. However, this does not mean we always are motivated or reach the goals we set for ourselves.Cortnee WHite
I have been fascinated with human behavior for a long time. Especially in the world of health and fitness. The work I do is helping people and athletes change. Change the unhelpful thoughts, routines, and behaviors. To help move and support them to become their best and healthiest versions.
The idea of change is simple right, stop eating ice cream, just go to the gym, just leave that toxic lover, or go get some help. Unfortunately, it is not that simple. Change is uncomfortable, even change that will better our health or make us more successful is a daunting task.
A CHANGE THEORY
Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist left an interesting theory that we fear our best just as much as our worst. He coined the “The Jonah Complex” describing our tendency to evade our own capacities. He observed that for us to have standards and a mission in life is a really scary expectation. As it implies that we must put aside all our excuses for not living up to our potential. As a result, we don’t answer the call to greatness and instead practice what Maslow called mock humility.
He highlights that when we set low targets for ourselves and do only as much as necessary to be satisfactory, that we might be setting ourselves up for unhappiness.
Now, this is just a theory but what I can relate to is that sometimes it’s not about what we will gain from change but what we will lose. Of course if we set aside all of our excuses to be fit, to quit bad habits, to live our best life…heck yeah I’m all for it. But, food is comforting, smoking has become a coping skill, changing teams or work means I’ll lose connections, if I leave a bad partner i’ll lose all the time I spent on them and be alone.
What comes after change is great and rewarding but the process of change is where we stumble. I have found confronting the behavior that needs to be changed is more about what that behavior has provided you and what losing it uncovers.
I love finding balance, being content and eating my ice cream but sometimes we need to ask ourselves if we are practicing mock humility in order to not feel the discomfort of change?
Some food for thought…