Understanding Mental Blocks — What Every Parent and Coach Must Know
Mental blocks are one of the most confusing experiences an athlete can face, especially for the adults watching.
From the outside, a block looks like hesitation or stubbornness.
From the inside, it feels overwhelming, embarrassing, and often out of the athlete’s control.
Not all blocks are the same.
And when we don’t understand the difference, we give the wrong advice, apply the wrong pressure, and unintentionally make things worse.
Athletes experience two very different kinds of blocks:
Cognitive Blocks (mind-driven hesitation)
Protective Blocks (nervous-system-driven shutdown)
Understanding the difference matters.
Responding appropriately matters even more.
1. Cognitive Blocks: When the Mind Gets in the Way
A cognitive block happens when the athlete can do the skill physically, but their thoughts are too loud.
This is not fear-based shutdown.
It’s not danger.
It’s not the nervous system slamming the brakes.
It’s simply mental overload.
The brain is cluttered, pressured, or overthinking.
What Causes Cognitive Blocks?
Overthinking or analysis paralysis
Perfectionism (“It has to be perfect or I can’t do it”)
Fear of mistakes or embarrassment
Outcome pressure
Too many technical cues
Comparison or judgment
Feeling watched
Trying to control the movement too consciously
How Cognitive Blocks Look
Hesitation (not swinging, taking the shot)
Pausing
Double-clutching
Over-focusing on mechanics
Slowing down in pressure moments
Needing reassurance
Cognitive blocks are uncomfortable, but the athlete still feels in control.
They can often perform better in low-pressure environments.
What Helps a Cognitive Block
Parents and coaches can support by:
Lowering cognitive load
(Fewer instructions, fewer cues, fewer expectations)Simplifying the task
(Smaller steps, easier reps, less pressure)Using one clear cue word
Redirecting attention to action (“Eyes here,” “Smooth,” “Drive”)
Reducing the stakes temporarily
Giving permission for imperfect reps
Shortening the thought-to-action gap
Think of it as cleaning up mental clutter so the athlete can move again.
2. Protective Blocks: When the Nervous System Shuts Down
A protective block is very different, and often misunderstood.
This block is not caused by mindset.
It’s not about motivation.
It’s not the athlete being “dramatic,” “lazy,” or “not trying.”
A protective block happens when the nervous system detects threat and hits the brakes faster than the athlete can hit the gas.
This is an involuntary freeze response, a survival mechanism, not a performance flaw.
What Causes Protective Blocks?
A fall, slip, or near-injury
A spotting mistake or scary moment
Skill progression that jumped too quickly
Intense pressure or fear of judgment
Shame or emotional overwhelm
Skill mistrust (“My timing feels off; I don’t feel safe”)
Loss of autonomy (feeling pushed or rushed)
Over-arousal, exhaustion, sensory overload
The brain sees the skill as dangerous — even if the athlete logically knows it should be fine.
How Protective Blocks Look
Freezing or full-body halt
Breath holding
Jerky, disconnected movements
Sudden panic or tears
“I want to do it, but my body won’t”
Regression even in low-pressure settings
Skill disappearing entirely
Attempts make fear worse
The athlete is not in conscious control.
The nervous system is running the show.
*When a Protective Block Might Be a Trauma Response
Parents often wonder, “Is this just fear… or something deeper?”
Here’s how you can help them differentiate it in a calm, grounded way:
1. The reaction is disproportionate to the situation
If the athlete’s fear or freeze is much bigger than what the skill typically calls for, it may be tied to a past scary moment.
Signs:
Sudden panic
Shaking, tears, or breath loss
Intense fear even with a simpler version of the skill
Feeling “out of control”
2. The athlete can’t explain why they’re scared
They might say things like:
“I don’t know, it just feels wrong.”
“My body won’t let me.”
“I’m fine until I get near it.”
“I can’t stop the feeling.”
This is classic nervous-system memory rather than conscious fear.
3. There was a fall, slip, or near-injury — even if it seemed small at the time
Trauma in sport is often implicit, not obvious.
A “close call” or moment where the athlete suddenly felt unsafe can create a long-lasting protective reflex.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic.
The body remembers threat more powerfully than the mind does.
4. The athlete has a strong startle or shutdown response
For example:
They freeze immediately when approaching the skill
They stiffen or lock up
Their breathing changes suddenly
They experience a jolt of fear “out of nowhere”
These are signs of survival physiology taking over.
5. Attempts make things worse, not better
If the athlete tries multiple times and each attempt increases:
panic
shaking
tears
overwhelm
shutdown
…it’s likely a trauma-linked protective reflex.
A cognitive block usually loosens with gentle attempts.
A trauma-linked block tightens.
6. The fear spills over into other areas
If the athlete becomes fearful, avoidant, or anxious even:
thinking about the skill
walking into the gym
seeing the equipment
hearing teammates attempt the skill
…that suggests the nervous system has generalized the threat.
7. The athlete avoids the situation entirely
Avoidance is the nervous system saying:
“This is unsafe. We’re not going near it.”
Trauma-based blocks often lead to:
not wanting to practice
wanting to quit
avoiding conversations about it
strong emotional reactions when the skill is mentioned
What Helps a Protective Block
Protective blocks need something very different than cognitive ones:
Top 4 Requirements:
1. Nervous system regulation
Slow, long exhales. Grounding. Calming presence. No rush.
2. A real sense of safety
Emotionally, physically, relationally.
Tone matters. Pace matters. Language matters.
3. Small, low-threat steps
1% movements. Standing near the skill. Touching the apparatus. Tiny progressions.
4. Permission instead of pressure
Permission to go slow.
Permission to stop when overwhelmed.
Permission to explore instead of perform.
Pressure tightens the block.
Permission loosens it..
If a trauma response, then I highly recommend trauma-based interventions like EMDR or Brainspotting.
Smart Questions Parents Should Ask (Instead of “What’s wrong?”)
These questions help the athlete feel understood, not judged:
1. “Does this feel like hesitation or like your body won’t let you?”
Helps parents identify the type of block without blame.
2. “What feels like the first small step you do feel comfortable with?”
Gives the athlete autonomy → reduces threat.
3. “What does your body feel like right now — tight, fast, shaky, frozen?”
Helps the athlete connect to their state instead of spiraling mentally.
4. “What helps you feel safer or calmer in this moment?”
Shows that safety, not performance, is the priority.
5. “Is something feeling different about the skill?”
Invites the athlete to name mistrust or timing issues instead of suppressing them.
6. “Do you want me to talk you through this, or stay quiet and just be with you?”
Powerful consent-based support.
7. “Is there anything you need from me right now?”
Opens space for emotional needs (presence, silence, validation).
8. “Do you want to stop for today and return when your system is calmer?”
Protective blocks often worsen when the athlete feels trapped.
**More Tips for Parents
1. Don’t judge the block — understand it.
Blocks are not laziness, defiance, or attitude.
They are cognitive overload or nervous-system protection.
2. Your tone matters more than your words.
A calm, steady, supportive tone helps regulate the athlete’s system.
Urgency or frustration increases threat.
3. Praise effort, not outcome.
Reinforce:
trying
tiny steps
showing up
using tools
being brave
This supports resilience, not pressure.
4. Don’t force a block to “go away.”
Pushing, rushing, or shaming intensifies a protective block and creates long-term fear.
5. Less talking helps more than more talking.
Too much coaching = cognitive overload
Too much pressure = protective shutdown
Keep instructions brief and simple.
6. Regulate yourself first.
Kids borrow your nervous system.
If you are anxious, urgent, or worried, they feel it before you say a word.
7. Don’t compare to past success.
Saying “But you’ve done this a thousand times” invalidates the athlete’s current experience and increases shame.
Instead use:
“Your skill is still there, we’re just helping your system feel ready again.”
8. Validate before problem-solving.
The athlete must feel seen before they can feel safe or receptive.
Try:
“I know this is frustrating.”
“It makes sense you feel stuck right now.”
“I’m here with you.”
Validation reduces threat immediately.
9. Take breaks early and often.
Protective blocks worsen when the athlete keeps trying past their fear threshold.
Stepping away is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
10. Celebrate micro-progress.
Standing near the skill, touching equipment, doing 5% of a movement, these are wins in protective states.
The nervous system changes slowly but steadily.
